In 1964, a
decision by Mother Enriquetta changed the course of my life: she selected me,
together with Sr. Selegrina from my batch, to pursue higher studies in the
United States. Through the generosity of the Sisters of Mercy, we received full
scholarships that covered our travel, tuition, room and board, and all personal
expenses. We were admitted to Salve Regina College in Newport, Rhode Island,
where we would spend the next four years completing our Bachelor of Arts
degrees.
During our
stay, we lived with the Sisters of Mercy and became part of their community.
Their kindness, openness, and hospitality expanded my understanding of
religious life on a global scale. I chose to major in Mathematics, partly
because my father had always believed in my aptitude for the subject, and
because I had earned high marks in school. I studied closely with my Chinese
classmate, Annette Chai Hong, and formed friendships with other students,
including Susanne Bouchard.
Life in
Newport offered many memorable experiences: my first sight of snow on November
5, 1964; the warm guidance of Sr. Rosalia, our dean; the spiritual
companionship of Fr. Reilly, the chaplain; and the presence of sisters from
Kerala and Thailand who shared our residence. I spent countless hours in the
beautiful library and attended daily Mass in a small chapel known as the
“mirror hall.” One Sister of Mercy generously lent me her typewriter whenever I
needed to write essays—a gesture I never forgot.
In 1966, moved
by Indira Gandhi’s rise as Prime Minister of India, I wrote to her a letter of
congratulations. To my astonishment, she replied, her note became one of my
treasured keepsakes. During our years in America, we also received a visit from
Sr. Bethina and Sr. Tharcissia, who were then studying in New York.
The first year
in the United States was marked by homesickness, but by the second year I felt
strong, confident, and intellectually renewed. Exposure to Western ideas, new
disciplines, and diverse perspectives widened my interior world. In 1968, after
four years of dedicated study, I completed my BA in Mathematics—and carried
home with me a broadened mind and a more mature spirit.
2. Rome, India, and the Path to EAPI (1968)
After
graduation in June 1968, we traveled to Washington, D.C. to spend a week with
Sr. Joseta of the Better World Movement, the organization that had coordinated
our scholarships. She welcomed us warmly and arranged our return travel to
India through Rome.
When we
arrived in Rome, an unexpected intervention transformed our plans. Fr.
Tibourtious Raj, our former parish priest from Reddipalem who was then studying
Canon Law in Rome, stepped in with decisive influence. He arranged for us to
stay three weeks in the city with the Ursuline Sisters and helped me reconnect
with my childhood friend, Sr. Eliza, who was also studying there.
More
significantly, he persuaded the authorities to send me and Sr. Selegrina to the
East Asian Pastoral Institute (EAPI) in the Philippines for a specialized
program in pastoral and psychological studies. He secured our visas, organized
our flight tickets, and even ensured that our travel route took us briefly back
to India so we could spend two weeks with our families before continuing to
Manila.
Thus began the
journey—Rome → India → Manila—that would lead me to the most transformative
encounter of my life.
3. EAPI in Manila: The Meeting of Two Destinies (Aug 1968
– April 1969)
In August
1968, we arrived at the East Asian Pastoral Institute at Ateneo de Manila
University, a Jesuit institution renowned internationally for its pastoral
formation. The program brought together around one hundred participants from
thirty-six different countries—priests, sisters, and a few laypeople. The
diversity of cultures, languages, and spiritual traditions created an
atmosphere alive with learning, reflection, and human connection.
 |
| 1968 EAPI Cohort |
It was there, in this rich and international community, that I met André.
André... He was a young
French-Canadian Jesuit: intelligent, deeply spiritual, gentle, and perceptive.
He had already lived in the Philippines as a missionary and carried within him
a quiet strength and an unusual sensitivity. We attended classes together,
prayed together during daily Mass, often sat side-by-side, exchanged homework
help, and shared conversations that gradually grew deeper.
Our circle of
friends included Sr. Selegrina, Fr. Nebreda (the director of EAPI), Fr. Joe
Hubert, Sr. Mary Gilbert, Sr. Scholastica, Sr. Lourdes, Sr. Regina, Sr. Stella,
Sr. Augusta, Fr. Leetai, Leo, Fr. Zacharias, Fr. Fontecha, Fr. Uli, Angela,
Bernadette, and many others, all involved as professors or students at East
Asian Pastoral Institute. The warm and vibrant environment created the perfect
setting in which two hearts could recognize each other.
4. Love Awakens: October 3rd, 1968 (“PremAA”)
As the time passed,
André and I grew closer—first through shared interests, then through mutual
respect and laughter, and finally through a deepening affection neither of us
could deny. Something profound occurred on October 3, 1968, the feast of
St. Thérèse, my patron saint.
On that day,
André gave me a box of chocolates and simply said, “This is your birthday gift—you may share it with the sisters.” That same evening, for the first time, we
embraced. In that moment, our relationship shifted from friendship into a
profound love—tender, honest, and transformative. From that day forward, our
hearts belonged to one another.
We began
exchanging daily notes, sometimes brief, sometimes long and reflective. We met
in the library, in Room 105, in André’s room, or quietly during study periods.
We walked under the trees and shared our histories, spiritual journeys, hopes,
fears, and dreams. We laughed, cried, prayed, and grew closer with each passing
day. Our love, still hidden from the world, blossomed in purity and strength.
5. The Heart Pendant: “PremAA”
During
Christmas 1968, André planned a trip to Baguio for us, together with our
Italian friend Angela, also studying at the EAPI. In the cool mountain air, we
attended Christmas Mass at the Little flower noviciate convent, walked through
the hills, and visited Sr. Gaudia, a friend of André and the mother-mistress of
the Franciscan sisters of the Immaculate-Conception (SFICV) noviciate in
Baguio.
 |
| Baguio, December 1968 |
It was in Baguio that we bought two silver chains and a heart-shaped pendant. We engraved them with “PremAA”— “Prem” meaning “love,” combined with “A + A” for André and Angel. This little heart became the symbol of our bond, our secret seal of commitment. When we returned to EAPI, we carried with us not just a piece of jewelry, but a deep certainty of belonging.
6. Our First Wedding: January 1st, 1969
On the morning
of January 1, 1969, something sacred unfolded. I went to André’s room,
and with God as our only witness, he took my hands and said softly:
“I consider you as my wife.
I unite myself with you forever.”
He placed the
silver chain with the heart pendant around my neck. I, in turn, placed the other around his. With that gesture, we became united in spirit—husband and wife in
the deepest sense, bound by love, fidelity, and the promise to face whatever
life would bring us.
It was our
hidden wedding, simple and eternal.
7. Growing Pressure and Interrogations
It soon became
impossible to conceal our special bond. People at EAPI noticed the closeness
between us, and eventually we were questioned separately by Fr. Nebreda and by
Sr. Scholastica, mistress of the nuns studying at EAPI. These interrogations
were painful and frightening. We felt torn between obedience to our
institutions and loyalty to our love.
Still, our
hearts did not waver. In his letters André wrote:
“My heart is hurting and ready to explode.”
“God has spoken to me through you.”
“I find in our love the strength to face all tribulations.”
“We will be together forever.”
And I wrote to
him:
“My love for you is immeasurable.”
“When I am with you, I feel strong, satisfied, happy, belonged.”
“Nive Na Prema—we are one.”
We prayed
constantly for guidance, seeking to remain honorable without betraying the
truth of what God had placed in our hearts.
8. André’s Watch: “Que
chaque minute nous rapproche”
Among the few gifts André gave me was a Seiko watch engraved:
“Que chaque minute nous rapproche”— “May each minute bring us closer.”
The watch was
later stolen in the convent in Reddipalem, but the meaning engraved on it
proved true. Each minute of our lives, whether together or apart, indeed drew
us closer.
9. EAPI Completion and Separation (April 1969)
When the EAPI
program concluded, we celebrated Easter 1969 with the community. Soon
afterward, Selegrina and I booked our return flight to India, while André
prepared to leave for Canada. Neither of us had any personal income; our
respective institutions arranged the tickets.
The farewell
at the airport was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life. André
cried after my departure, and in his first letter to me he described his sorrow
with raw honesty. Though separated by oceans, we remained united in every other
way.
We were
entering a new chapter—a year of physical separation, yet a year of unbroken,
enduring love.
No comments:
Post a Comment